7 Myths About Coca-Cola That You’re Too Awesome To Fall For

Let’s have a discussion about Coca-Cola for a bit. This is serious stuff. The sinister overlords at Big Brown Sugar Water are using their beverage to control humanity’s minds. Ahhh!!! Time to spaz out!!! Because the Coca-Cola Company is this huge multinational corporation, there is an assumption they’re always up to something sneaky and mischievous. What is Coca-Cola, precisely? Battery acid with added caramel color? Unicorn blood? Whatever gets mopped up from a school cafeteria floor and then put in a bottle or can? Since we’re not interested in getting sued, we’re going to empathically answer with “None of the above.” But because they’re one of the world’s most well-known companies, it is inevitable that people will concoct stories and spread rumors. It comes with the territory. But we at Brainberries are once again ready to tackle these lies head on because we’re so bold! Check out these 8 Coca-Cola myths that you would never believe in a million years because, come on, you’re not that gullible!

1. Coke still contains coke

If you’re a hard-partying celebrity – and it is well established that our website is incredibly popular among the rich and famous – then you know that binging on coke (small c) is the only way to keep up. But for the rest of us peasants who can’t afford to snort foo-foo dust on a regular basis, Coca-Cola serves as a cheap way to get high. Right? Sorry to disappoint you if you thought Coke still contains blow. Alternatively, if you were worried that it does, happy to please you! Rest assured, the fine folks at Coca-Cola Company stopped adding cocaine to their concoction back in 1903. However, the beverage does contain a cocaine-free coca leaf extract. Sort of a bonus fact just for you!

2. New Coke was a diabolical conspiracy

So here’s the deal: At the end of WWII, Coke held a 60% share of the soft drink market. By 1983 it had fallen to under 24% and, in fact, the only reason they weren’t behind rival Pepsi is because of their exclusive rights deals with sports venues and fast food restaurants. Turns out that most folks preferred the sweeter taste of Pepsi. So Coca-Cola decided to test out a new, sweeter formula. It scored so well in taste tests – people preferred it to both Pepsi and original Coke – that they used it to replace the original formula altogether. Initially, sales actually improved. But it didn’t last. Turns out that people grow really attached to things, such as teddy bears, old slippers, and apparently soft drink recipes. The backlash was immense and sales of New Coke plummeted. Within three months, the original recipe returned and they managed to increase their market share. But the idea that they secretly knew it would fail – and waste all that money on R&D and advertisements in the process – so that they could then manufacture a comeback probably gives these flakey executives too much credit.

3. Coca-Cola is anti-Semetic

Huge, multinational companies like Coca-Cola certainly have an agenda, but it isn’t what you think. It is true that from the 40s through the 60s, Coca-Cola did not sell its product in Israel, but it had everything to do with boycott threats from the broader Middle East, which contained far more mouths with which to guzzle their fizzy syrup drink. In the late 60s, Coca-Cola faced a Jewish boycott in America, causing them to change their tune and sell the product in Israel. The Arab League in turn made good on its boycott threat. In other words, Coca-Cola was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and ultimately did what was best for its business interests. Subsequently, the Arab League lifted its boycott in 1991, and now there is nothing but peace and harmony throughout the world.